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Tiger: Hey Sexy I can’t come out this week. Something came up family wise (July 20, 3:04 p.m.)

Jaimee: That’s okay I hope everything is fine … would have liked to see you

Tiger: We will make it happen

Jaimee: I drove out for the night to surprise a friend with a present for there birthday (July 26, 11: 22 p.m.)

Tiger: what kind of present your naked body

Jaimee: haha no a watch I slept alone

Tiger: alone with him that is

Jaimee: haha I wish

Jaimee: miss u (Sept. 27, 6:38 p.m.)

Tiger: now that’s hot so who is your new boy toy

Jaimee: no new boy toy … still running dry… been on 2 real dates in the pat 2 months :(

Tiger: I need you

Jaimee: then get your tight ass over here and visit me! I need u

Tiger: I will wear you out soon

Jaimee: how soon? I got a new piercing

Tiger: really. Where

Jaimee: I just sent u a pic of it … is on my cheek below my eye … implanted a little diamond

Tiger: send it again. I didn’t pick up on that

Tiger: you just need some attention from me

Tiger: do you have a boy friend (8:45 p.m.)

Jaimee: I don’t even have someone I am dating … no … u can be my boyfriend ;)

Tiger: then I am

Jaimee: I wish

Tiger: quiet and secretively we will always be together

Tiger: when was the last time you got laid

Jaimee: if we hang out on a Sundway we can watch desperate houswives again haha (Sept. 30, 3:38 p.m.)

Tiger: oh god

Jaimee: take a break from watching boring old golf

Jaimee: I mean the amazing sport of golf ;)

Jaimee: [more than an hour later] babe I was kidding

Tiger: I know sexy

Jaimee: is it orange county time yet? (Oct. 1, 6:06 p.m.)

Tiger: oh stop :)

Jaimee: hahaha I know … but you canceled on me last time so the anticipation is killing me … im finding myself watching sports center … haha j/k it isn’t that bad

Tiger: its never been that bad

Jaimee: very true … I only watch football

Tiger: Figured you would say that. Big black guys.

Jaimee: u are my first, last and only black guy! U should feel special

Tiger: why do I not believe that?

Tiger: [later, in response to Jaimee's mention of a date who was "full of himself"] you kinda like that for some reason which is weird why you decided on me.

Tiger: having an asian mother and a military father you cannot and will not ever be full of yourself

Jaimee: I have fun with u, you always make me smile and I am not afraid to be myself or say anything to u … the day I met u I thought u were going to kick me out a few times but for someone reason you didn’t and u have told me numerous times I talk to much but slowly as I get to know u iI think your absolutely amazing

Tiger: you are wrong I’m bone thugs in harmon

Jaimee: Something wrong babe?I was excited to sepnd time with u this week (Oct. 15, 6:40 p.m.)

Tiger: I will you Sunda night. Its the only night in which I am totally free but I have to leave at 530 Monday morning to drive up to the valley for an outing for one of my sponsors. See you at 8 pm on Sunday in newport

Tiger: don’t text me back till tomorrow morning. I have to many people around me right now

Tiger: send me something very naughty (Oct. 18, 3:40 p.m.)

Jaimee: some things are worth waiting for lol … besides im at work

Tiger: go to the bathroom and take it

Jaimee: haha ur too much

Jaimee: are u leaving me cause your wife is still in newport :( I am lonely now … i like falling asleep in your arms (Oct. 18, 11:38 p.m.)

Tiger: sorry baby I just can’t sleep. Its just a problem I have.

Tiger: she is not here. They left this morning

Jaimee: well I appreciate you not wanting to wake me up but if y couldn’t sleep I would have rather sat up and talked to u more … find out why I keep falling more and more for u ;)

Tiger: Because I’m blasian :)

Tiger: I’m sorry babe. Im already home.

Jaimee: I’m putting my underwear back on … thats a no no … come take them off

Tiger: :) you are too funny

Tiger: happy thanksgiving to you (Nov. 26, 11:16 a.m.)

Jaimee: u too love

Original Post

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Hold on for one second……i’m trying to recover from the almost painful amount of laughter I just experienced.

Does it bother anyone else how Tiger Woods apparently has a self-image of Don Juan, but has less game than Gary Coleman? Reading these texts is like trying to read through another bad teen vampire novel. “Baby” this, and “Baby” that…i literally gagged on my coffee this morning thanks to Tiger’s idea of smooth talking a woman.

It must be nice to be “Blasian”, hahahahahaha sorry this gets me every time, and rich. Apparently smacking a dimple covered, composite wrapped twine ball down a huge front lawn in today’s world can get you top-shelf pussy no matter how much of a dork you really are. Bill Clinton lead our country and got a blowjob from a second rate secretary, but Tiger Woods plays golf and gets laid by porn stars. This is truly an ass backwards world we live in.

Let’s take a mental snapshot of Tiger. Tiger is 34 years old on December 30th, 2009. As of 2007, he had made a total of $94,038,162 worldwide playing golf alone. He has an Asian mother and a military father, as he notes in his wonderful sexting. He has been married to the beautiful Elin Nordegren since October 5th, of 2005. Tiger was 28 at the time of their marriage, and has created one child since that time. His teen years through young adulthood read like a PGA calendar of events. Now we find out he is having commitment issues and apparently still has the urge to “let the big dog eat” all over the country.

Wow no way! You mean if you push a child into complete focus over a game for the most developmental years of his life, that he might not mature at the same rate as everyone else who was able to experience sexual promiscuity at a less serious age? Feel free to cut the sarcasm with a knife. Take this entire situation as a prime example of how money cannot buy you happiness. I simply feel bad for Elin and her child, because that kind of financial stability coming from a man who says he knows he loves you…is very hard to turn down.

I will say that I am glad for Tiger. If this had not have come out now, who knows what other things he would have tried to explore behind closed doors. Maybe now he can let go of these immature sexual urges and get back to focusing on being a good husband and father. If Tiger Woods were standing in front of me right now, I would only have one question for him.

“Would you want your child to think adultery is ok because Daddy Did It?”