Porno News Network

By Don Benn (Former PNN Editor)

Houston, Texas – It was “just a little bitty piss-ant country place – nothing much to see, There was drinkin’ allowed, it got a nice quiet crowd, and was plain as it could be. There were lots of good will and a few small thrills….but there was nothin’ dirty goin’ on”.

The above paragraph (admittedly stolen almost word for word from the Broadway show “Best Little Whorehouse in Texas) could just as easily described last weekends’ just concluded Lone Star Pornutopia produced and presented by Adult Quest Magazine.

In addition to presenting appreciative fans with more than two dozen of the hottest and most popular adult industry performers, the four night/three day sexpo expo also exhibited a down-home, small town, intimate, (dare I say) downright cozy feel. Fans and performers mixed and mingled in a never-rushed up close and personal style logistically impossible to find at the usual always too crowded/way too noisy annual Los Angeles and Vegas shows.

Frantic fans lined up for autographs and photos with industry icons (Seka, Ginger Lynn Allen, and Savanna Samson to name just a few), current top stars (Monique Alexander, Carmen Hart, Faye Regan, Shy Love, Nikki Rhodes, Francesca Le, Trisha Uptown, and Zoe Britton), as well as back again and better than ever beauties Ann Marie (Rios) and Rayleen. Male call was “marked” by Mark Davis, Mark Wood, and Mr. Marcus, as well as everyone’s favorite uncle, that sexy sexagenarian himself, Dave Cummings.

While the above-mentioned performers drew respectable lines of autograph and photo hunters, the second largest crowd in the entire room gravitated to Sara Palin look-alike (only hotter and better and MUCH more fun to be with) Lisa Ann. The busty brunette beauty whose already impressive career was recently kicked up a notch (or ten) by her starring role in numerous Palin parodies gave fans a rare opportunity to meet the woman behind the Sara specs…and oh, what a woman be she!!

The undisputed number one fan favorite/camera-clicking/ crowd-causer proved to be the almost quarter ton of fun team comprised of Ron Jeremy and Dennis Hof. Hof, America’s PimpMaster General and owner of the world famous Moonlight Bunny Ranch (now well-known for his HBO series – Cathouse – as well as guest appearances on damn near every daytime talk show in the world) and Jeremy, best known for….well, for being Ron Jeremy entertained a continuous crowd of fans and friends.

While the shows’ overall tone and theme was one of lighthearted good clean dirty fun (including a great sexy P.J. party and three-night multi-club caravan) the event was not without its’ serious and meaningful side. Saturday afternoons’ main event was a benefit Poker Tournament for the beautiful and beloved Stephanie Swift.

Long-time industry favorite and AVN Hall of Fame inductee Swift, a “wicked girl” on camera (and an angle in person) is bravely battling cancer. While the illness and subsequent treatment (including a recent double mastectomy) may have altered her superficial “hot chick looks” her sense of dignity, courage, bravery, determination, class and grace made her the most beautiful woman in the room.

In addition to raising thousands of dollars for her continuing treatment, each and every winner at the final table donated their winnings (including an all expenses paid Mexican vacation) to Swift in the hopes that many, many, many better days lay ahead. We here at Porno News Network (especially this humble scribe) applaud her courage and send prayers and wishes for a better year ahead (and many more better years to come).

Show organizers John Gray and (former PNN editor) Steve Seidman of Adult Quest worked like dogs but beamed with pride at the results of their year-long effort. They credited their staff, the performers, the Houston-based nightclubs (The Ritz, Moments, and The Men’s Club), and everyone at Houston’s Southwest Hilton for all contributing to make this year’s event a true winner. And, while both took pride in this event, both promised that next years’ expo would be even better. This reporter has no reason to doubt them.

What this reporter DOES have reason to doubt is his own memory. While doing my best to include the names of as many participants as possible I know (because I know myself way too well) that some of the names of some of the great performers were unintentionally omitted from this report. To see a full list of everyone who exhibited at the event (along with photos and info on upcoming events) please visit the official expo site at www.QuestParty.com And, on a very personal note, readers who would like to make contributions to Stephanie Swift may do so (or at the very least get more information) at: The Stephanie Swift Cancer Fund, Post Office Box 9864, Canoga Park California 91309